Class Wars! Part 1 Life Skills
by Silver Dragon Golden Dragon
Summary: Yugi and Co. soon find out that their Life Skills teacher is evil incarnate... When she forces Kaiba and Joey to work as partners for EVERYTHING IN THE CLASS! Will anyone survive her evil? Probably. But please R+R anyway!


Disclaimer: We own a cat, five issues of Shonen Jump, an old-fashioned bunk-bed, and maybe six-thousand pictures and only a few less original characters. We do not, however, own Yugioh. If we did, well... we would. Which we don't. So there.  
  
Silver: Only Ra knows where in the world this weird story came from. Since I'm not Ra, I don't know.  
  
Golden: Ah ha. Hah ha ha ha. Funny, Yami. The teacher in here, Ms. Grendal, is a combo of my junior high-- oh, I'm sorry, MIDDLE SCHOOL math and life skills teachers, who were sisters and looked exactly alike. However, she's NAMED after the first monster from Beowulf, a Norse Saga. If you're going to read this, we may as well tell you a few of the in- jokes.  
  
Silver: As I recall, little Hikari, you mostly improved your drawing skills in life skills...?  
  
Golden: Hey, if I'm going to be a comic artist, I need to be able to draw!! ^_^  
  
Anyway.... we DO have a story to tell.  
  
--  
  
Class Wars: Part 1, Life Skills, Chapter 1, Partners  
  
The first day of Life Skills, a required class.  
  
Twenty teenagers (Ah luv alliteration!) sat chatting quietly at their seats, waiting for class to start. Before we go too much further, we shall tell you the more important students in this class.  
  
Yugi Moto, Tea Gardner, Tristan Taylor, Joey Wheeler, and Ryou Bakura sat in a small clump of conversation toward the front of the room. (Well, Ryou wasn't really talking, he was just pretending to listen to the conversation.) (Sort of like Golden often finds herself doing.)  
  
Seto Kaiba sat in the back of the class, reading the unabridged version of "War of the Worlds." He was somewhere around the part where the Texans were pushing the Martians back.  
  
Also scattered around the room were various quiet students such as Hanasaki (you'd know him if you read the manga, but we don't think he's got another name-- he's Yugi's height, has amazingly tame light hair [probably blonde] and wears glasses... Your basic puny nerdboy, really.) and Miho Nosaka. (You ought to know her if you know anything about the first series. we don't, but we got the impression she's kind of bratty, once she isn't shy.) The reason for our mentioning these two may become apparent later... but then again, it may not. Let's keep going.  
  
The door to the classroom opened, and everyone (yes, even Seto, despite how interesting his book is...) looked up.  
  
An evil gnome was standing in the door. No, seriously. An evil, female gnome was standing in the door! They had to look down from the point in the doorway they'd all expected to see a face in so that they could see her. She glared at them for such a "stupid" mistake.  
  
Perhaps her aged and weathered face would have summoned thoughts of a beloved aunt, if not for the fact that her beady green eyes seemed to send out laserbeams of hatred from behind her square, rimless glasses. Or perhaps it was her close-cut, helmetlike silver hair hanging down her forehead that inspired a feeling of evil. In any case, it was not her height. She was shorter than Yugi's grandfather. She was heavyset and dressed in a plain blue dress and jacket.  
  
The diminutive teacher walked over to the front desk-- and disappeared behind it. There was a little soft giggling during the time it took her to mount the chair so that she could look over the top of the desk, but her green glare could not reveal the culprit.  
  
"Good afternoon, class," she said, in a sort of voice that belonged more to the Snow White Witch. "My name is Ms. Grendal."  
  
A snort sounded from the back of the room. Everyone looked at Seto, who was putting "War of the Worlds" away.  
  
Ms. Grendal fairly snarled. "Is there something funny, Mr. Kaiba?"  
  
Seto shrugged. "No, if you've never read "Beowulf."  
  
Ms. Grendal narrowed her eyes, if that was possible. "I will not tolerate hilarity or daydreaming," she told the class. "That, Mr. Kaiba," her glare snapped to rest totally on him, "would include YOUR antics. I know perfectly well from your OTHER teachers that you never pay attention in class."  
  
Everyone stared at Seto, then back at the teacher. Of COURSE he never paid attention! He was, after all, a PROGIDY. He already KNEW everything the classes had to offer.  
  
But did he know everything he'd need to in Life Skills?  
  
Ms. Grendal shook her head. "For the remainder of this class," she said sharply, commanding their attention once more, "You will need a permanent partner for the majority of your projects." Everyone (except Seto) began to murmur excitedly, already trying to figure the ideal partner for themselves.  
  
There was a sharp CRACK! sound at the front of the room and everyone (except Seto) yelped and faced forward. Ms. Grendal smiled at them all evilly,brandishing a spatula.  
  
"I didn't say I'd be letting you choose your OWN partners," she reprimanded gleefully. The students (except Seto) began giving each other worried glances. Seto just cast a worried look at the ceiling.  
  
"I'VE already matched you up at random!" Everyone's (even Seto's) eyes bugged. Thunder cracked, even though it was perfectly sunny out, and Ms. Grendal threw her head back and laughed like the mad scientist in all those hokey horror movies. No, seriously. She took out The List.  
  
Yeah, The List. We're capitalizing it on purpose. Its full title would probably be The List of Doom.  
  
"Conviently," Ms. Grendal said, "There are twenty of you, so there won't be any groups of three. The first pair are Gardner and Moto."  
  
Yugi and Tea both gasped in relief. Random pairings could be very brutal, after all.  
  
"Hanasaki and Taylor."  
  
Tristan and Hanasaki stared at each other. The same thought came across two minds: I'm getting paired with _that_ dork?!? A few more unimportant people were paired together without incedent.  
  
"Bakura and Nosaka."  
  
Miho gave a tiny little squeak of excitement, Ryou just sighed tiredly. But soon the Pronouncement of the Apocalypse came. That's right.  
  
"Wheeler and Kaiba."  
  
_Wheeler and Kaiba._  
  
"WHAT?!" demanded Joey, knocking his desk over as he leapt to his feet. Several people screamed as they dodged the desk and flying papers.  
  
Ms. Grendal looked over her glasses at him as if he had just insulted the color of her favorite blouse. "Is there a problem, Mr. Wheeler?"  
  
Joey's face contorted. "I have to be partners with-- with-- that--" He pointed an accusing finger at Seto, who managed to look like he was bored.  
  
"That what, Mr. Wheeler?"  
  
"#^@%&*!!" Joey practically yowled. Everyone stared at him.  
  
"Mr. Wheeler," Ms. Grendal stated dangerously, "You are not to swear in the classroom!" She then turned her glare to Seto. "I assume you'll have something to say to this, Mr. Kaiba."  
  
Seto only barely cracked a smile. "Yeah." He glanced at Joey. "You too, Wheeler."  
  
Joey's shoulders slumped. This class was already looking to be his worst.  
  
--  
  
Golden: Okay, so my life skills teacher and my math teacher weren't that mean... SEPERATELY, they were only half that. So that's why Ms. Grendal is considered a combo.  
  
Silver: But the first chapter doesn't end here! Really, only fifteen minutes have passed!  
  
Golden: Yeah. But this was an easy way to deal with the stony silence while Joey puts his desk back before the class rearranges itself according to partners.  
  
Silver: Oh, sweet Ra. They actually have to SIT by each other?!?  
  
Golden: ^_^ Yup!  
  
Silver:*sweatdrop* Lovely.  
  
--  
  
"Now then," the demon-- erm, the teacher said, now that Joey had replaced his desk, "The seating chart." Lightning flashed again, but she only chuckled. Evilly, of course.  
  
Pointing harshly at the first corner seat, she barked out seating arrangements. "Kaiba." She wanted to keep him in easy view. Make sure he was paying attention. Of course, Joey was also a potential troublemaker. She pointed to the next seat. "Wheeler."  
  
Reluctantly the students in question moved to their new seats. "Svenson. Atara. Nosaka. Bakura...."  
  
--  
  
Silver: Wha? How did WE get in there?!?  
  
Golden:*shrugs* Something about it just struck me as being really funny.  
  
--  
  
Now that the class had been destroyed and remade in Ms. Grendal's own dark image-- Blast, sorry, now we're mixing her with Yami Marik-- she pointed out to them a table beside the desk, with two mysterious objects on it... A bag of flour and a measuring cup.  
  
No, serioiusly, they were very mysterious, for being a bag of flour and a measuring cup.  
  
"With these," Ms. Grendal said, "We will have a little demonstration on giving directions. Or... " and her evil glare swept the class, "How NOT to give directions. Wheeler! Kaiba!"  
  
The two boys straightened, aware they'd already earned their teacher's utmost hatred.  
  
"Wheeler, you are to instruct Kaiba in how to measure a cup of flour."  
  
An incredulous silence settled over the class. Seto and Joey just gaped at each other across the aisle, united for once in disbelief.  
  
"NOW!!" Ms. Grendal bellowed, causing Joey to leap from his seat and up to the table. Seto followed him more slowly. "And make your directions explicit. Kaiba, I want you to behave as though you knew abosolutly NOTHING about the concept of scooping. Is that clear?"  
  
Seto sighed and nodded, but inwardly he smiled. Maybe he could have a little fun with this....  
  
"Okay..." Joey started uncertainly, glancing at Seto, who wasn't even barely hinting at any malicious intentions. Joey could sense them anyway. "Put the cup into the bag of flowah."  
  
Seto dropped the cup into the bag of flour. Putting his hands on the table, he looked at Joey expectantly.  
  
Joey stared at him. "Uh... Take the cup out of the bag, an' set it on the table."  
  
Seto took the cup out of the bag, and set it on the table. Empty. He smiled ever so slightly.  
  
Joey had to think a minute. "I meant with the flowah in the cup."  
  
Seto shrugged. "Okay," he replied, picking up the bag and setting it on top of the measuring cup. A few of their classmates dared to giggle. The bag sagged over the sides of the cup in a rather undignified manner, if a bag of flour could ever be considered dignified.  
  
Joey sweatdropped. "Not the BAG, the flowah goes IN the cup an' ISN'T in the bag anymore!"  
  
An evil grin finally spread across Seto's face. "If you say so," he replied in an innocent tone, lifting the bag again. Joey realized what he was about to do an insant too late.  
  
"No, Kaiba, WAIT!"  
  
Seto upturned the bag of flour over the little measuring cup.  
  
Flour went everywhere in a fine, beautiful white cloud.  
  
The whole class began to cough. "KAIBA!!" Ms. Grendal and Joey both screamed.  
  
"Ninja, VANISH!" called a deep voice nobody recognized.  
  
The flour stuck to everything, most notably Seto and Joey. Svenson began to laugh infectously, and soon her partner, Atara, joined in. "You two look like GHOSTS!" the silver-haired girl wheezed. Soon the rest of the seated students joined in. Even Joey found himself chuckling a little. (Yeah, that's the power of the insane laugh, folks. Either we scare people or they all join in.) Seto just turned and flashed his evil grin at the teacher.  
  
Ms. Grendal was not amused.  
  
Repeat, in part because it's an understatement and therefore needs to be said twice:  
  
Ms. Grendal was NOT amused. She had just cleared her glasses in time to see Seto's evil grin, as he'd hoped she'd had, and while any teen fangirl might have melted at the sight, tough old biddies that also happen to be evil incarnate are not so easily soothed. In fact, it's safe to say the grin only stoked the flames of her evil rage.  
  
She stood there, flour burning off from her evil green energy that soon visibly radiated off of her. Everyone turned to stare at the (rather pretty) product of the demon-- erm, teacher's building rage.  
  
"Kaiba..." she began, voice low and dangerous.  
  
The bell rang.  
  
Taking advantage of Ms. Grendal's distraction, both boys jumped the table. Grabbing their things, they sped out the door. The rest of the class soon followed.  
  
Ms. Grendal made a soft noise of frustration. "I'll get you, Kaiba," she muttered to herself. "You and your little partner, too!"  
  
--  
  
Silver: 0.0 Okay, NOW she's the Wicked Witch of the West!  
  
Golden: ^_^ Yeah, nice touch, wasn't it. Since Seto calls Joey a dog, after all. PLEASE REVIEW THIS, dear readers! Nobody leaves reviews for our OTHER story!  
  
Silver:*aside* Meaning "When in the Hour of Deepest Need." Personally, it IS kind of wierd. Little Hikari reads too many sci-fi novels.  
  
Golden: You can't fool me! I KNOW you look over my shoulder! *attacks Silver*  
  
Silver: GAAH! PLEASE REVIEW! 


End file.
